'Self-Compassion Part 2' picks up the principles of Part 1 and gets practical - the 'how to' part.
Self-Compassion Re-Cap
Self-compassion in its simplest form is the compassion you have for others, you have for yourself. It "involves being kind to ourselves when life goes awry or we notice something about ourselves we don't like, rather than being cold or harshly self-critical." Dr Kristin Neff.
Kind before critical.
Why Self-Compassion Is Important
We can't be compassionate towards others if we are not compassionate towards ourselves first.
When we think compassionately about ourselves we are embracing ourselves whole-heartedly – flaws and all. When we embrace our flaws we believe we are enough. When we believe we are enough, shame takes a back seat and our Self-Worth rises. And THAT is a strong foundation for living a joyful life.
How To Be Self-Compassionate
Being Self-Compassionate means you are aware of the suffering, and the pain that you are experiencing. You're moved by your heart's response to it. Instead of pushing it aside and down, you respond with kindness towards yourself. It's not easy.
There is no magic formula either. Sorry, I wish there was :)
It starts with re-connecting with you. An exploration as you appreciate how you feel, how you respond in your body and mind to that experience. An appreciation of what brings you happiness and joy.
Here are some flagstones along the path that you may find helpful.
- Grant yourself the time and space to sit with the experience - don't underestimate the incredible impact creating space can have.
- Hold that space and in it begin to understand the emotions you are feeling. There are no good and bad, they are.
- In that moment is there something you need? A deep breath of fresh air. The sunlight on your face. A certain scent that takes you back to a time when you felt so much happiness.
These are Micro-Moments of Happiness. We talk about these in our membership and course because they are so important.
- Take action as you lean into what you need and want. Start small if that is easier but make that change. Break the old habit and start a new one. Other things can wait.
More ways to practice are here on Dr. Kristin Neff's website.
Final Thoughts
I know it sounds woo-woo but I really do believe that over the decades of meeting expectations, setting high standards and exhausting ourselves as we 'do it all', that we have lost our sense of self. The numbing and suppressing of what we need and want. What brings us joy.
This awareness may make things harder before they become clearer and easier. Before we make this a practice, a habit that will serve us well. But it is so worth it.
It's time to re-claim You. Make the space. Take the time. Appreciate what makes you happy, what's deep inside that brings you joy and goes with it. Do it. Live whole-heartly. With Self-Compassion and kindness.
Where to from here?
Next is Self-Worth. Another biggie so strap yourself in :)
Then join me over in our private Facebook Group - Women 40+, Self Love, Body Love & Swimsuit Confidence. I started that group as a safe place to explore such personal and sensitive topics. The stuff we might not want to talk about on the public S&S page.
See you in there!
Anita xx
Founder & Owner : Sequins and Sand
